When I was in the 6th grade, our beloved Home-Ec teacher went on an extended maternity leave during which the school found a perfectly lovely substitute teacher to fill in. Little did Mrs. Tipton know, she was about to enter a lions den populated by gossipy, snarky, hormonal and to be honest, MEAN 11 and 12 year old lionesses with sarcastic attitides, eyes rolling, and back-handed compliment claws sharpened and ready to rip her to shreds. Poor lady, she never had a chance.
Act 1: A classroom full of noisy middle schoolers sitting on top of their desks, throwing balls of pie crust across the room, cussing and generally ignoring the frazzled teacher who is desperately trying to begin class.
Scene 1: (A hand shoots up) "Uh, Mrs. Tipton?", "Yes, Kristen" she unwittingly answers... "when is your baby due?"(a quartet of muffled giggles erupt) The decidedly NOT pregnant Mrs. Tipton goes home that night, eats a salad for dinner and cries herself to sleep.
Scene 2: Next Day (Another hand shoots up) "Uh, Mrs. Tipton?", "Yes, Lisa" she cautiously replies, "I looove your eyeliner, maybe you can show us how to put ours on like that!" (a choir of convulsive snickering ensues). Mrs. Tipton goes home that night, washes off what's left of her eyeliner after sobbing all the way home and cries herself to sleep after eating another salad for dinner.
Scene 3: Maybe 2 weeks later: (Yet another hand shoots up) "Oh, Mrs. Tipton", "Yes, Jennifer" she grudgingly answers. "How many grand kids do you have?".(full on symphony of riotous laughter fills the room) Mrs. Tipton, who is maybe 35, goes home that night, eats a salad for dinner, washes her face, slathers on anti-age cream, cries herself to sleep and then calls in sick forever the next morning.
THE END
The moral to the story: I am now coaching a cheerleading squad consisting of 17, 6th and 7th grade girls. Can you say Cosmic payback boys and girls?
P.S. My cheerleaders do not even come close to this, THANK GOODNESS! In fact they are pretty great, but Lindsey gearing up to start middle school next week has got me reminiscing...good times? OH CRAP, maybe I should home school her!
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8 comments:
Oh Margie!
I was one of those awful kids!I think you and I would have been good friends!HAHA!
I pray my kids never act like that when I'm not around!
Poor Mrs. Tipton! We're you one of those gals? LOL
If it makes you feel any better, it's also distinctly possible she went home and ranted about all those little so-and-sos while saying a bunch of things she couldn't say then, felt better, and waited for time to exact her revenge.
I'm not saying this because my wife has had a few bad days here and there with her junior high schoolers-- it's mere idle speculation. ;-)
Literal Dan is probably right. She realized she could make ten times the money as an investment banker and wouldn't have to take any crap from a bunch of pre-teens. She bought Microsoft for 25 cents they day after she called in sick. Don't feel too sorry since Mrs Tipton can buy and sell us all now.
My daughter Whiney Girl has been the victim and the perpetrator of many Mean Girl shenanigans in her 12 short years. That second X chromosome can be a bitch.
Literal Dan and trooper Thorn- I sure hope that's what she did- I like those scenarios much better!
Oh my gawsh. This is so funny in a sadistic way. Ouch.
Scene #1, had me rolling!
It's amazing any adult (including parents) likes us after preteen and teen years.
Thanks for the laugh!
Girls are mean, especially at that age. I know I thought I had everything figured out in Junior High. Sadly, my experience was oddly similar to the movie Mean Girls.
I stumbled across you from Suburban Turmoil and I think your site is great!
We had an elementary school substiture whose last name was Henkart, and who was always always called Chickenwagon.
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