When's your baby due?

I have very big feet. Size 10 or 11 depending upon the shoe, and through the course of my life, they have ended up in my even bigger mouth on numerous occasions. As I have matured (quit laughing, those of you who know me) over the years, I have tried to be more careful and am quite good at avoiding the mother of all unintended insults... the "when is your baby due?" to a person who is NOT pregnant. Too bad for me- others have not.

I am what you might describe as "gently rounded" or, "full figured". I have come to grips with this reality over the years, and while I always aspire to be healthier and have more energy and would love to be in better shape, I don't obsess about it or actually give it a whole lot of though at all anymore for that matter. I am pretty happy in my skin and my husband still finds me attractive. I spent the bulk of my adolescent trying to change myself and killing myself to be thinner through a variety of methods that I do not recommend (I was SKINNY back then BTW, and just didn't realize it!).

So there I was, the other day, out to lunch with some women from church that I don't know very well and as we were leaving, one of them said, "So, are you pregnant or something?" Without skipping a beat, I replied, "nope, just fat!" She was so embarrassed, she forgot to apologize. A while back, someone else asked me the same thing when she congratulated me while gesturing toward my midsection. The time before that, (yes, it has happend 5 different time, but who's counting?) I guess I was less offended because I had JUST given birth a couple of days before, and I WAS still wearing maternity clothes and buying NURSING BRAS. The fact is though, my baby weight is now 6 years old. I'm holding onto it for sentimental reasons... yeah, that's it!

So, OK, I get it, it wouldn't kill me to take the stairs now and then... but really people, let's be more careful. I have learned how to avoid doing this to others and I shall now share these methods with you all. I can handle the assumption regarding my Rubenesque curves because I am so over it... but I know a lot of other women who would be shattered and sent straight into the arms of some ill-advised dieting scam as a result of such a thoughtless comment.

Method #1 (for the woman who has no children yet):
"So, do you think you might have kids some day?" If she's preggers, she will be so flattered that you couldn't tell, and it not, it's a great way to get to know whomever, better.

Method #2 (for those who already have kiddos):
"Little Frankie is so adorable. Do you ever think about having another." Again, if she is in the family way... flattered... if not, no harm, no foul.

So my friends, now you have the tools to be nosy without sending your possibly pregnant, probably just "fluffy" friends away in tears!

BTW, has anyone else ever had this happen? If so, how did you respond? (Besides crying all the way home and eating a salad for dinner?)